The Weight is Off

Whoa, it's already October?! That means Halloween is this month. I have to get my costume ready. That also means the year is almost over. Eek!! But I won't think about that just yet. I've had this post in the "draft" phase for the past year. Why, you ask? I wanted to be sure that when I officially post it, I didn't fall back into old habits that would make me regret making assumptions about myself when I wasn't even sure at the time I could maintain what I had just accomplished. So here I go.

The accomplishment I was referring to was achieving my goal of losing close to 50lbs of excess weight. I've always had a love/hate relationship with my weight. For those of you who have known me for years know I've always stuggled with being overweight. Aside from being teased and made fun of when I was younger, my self-esteem and confidence was crap for many many years. My insecurities came out in full force. It was really an emotional roller coaster within myself, though I never showed it anyone. I love food and I still do. Hence my food blog (Bread + Butter). One of my favorite things to do is cook and bake. It's comforting and relaxing. Yes, food was a vice for me, but not so much where I went to it every time I felt sad or alone or over emotional.

I hit my heaviest in January of 2005 at 153lbs. I'm 5 feet in height and I was expanding width-wise.  I did lose 20 pounds that year, but to only gain more than half of it back the following year. I blame myself for my sheer laziness and lack of activity and thinking I can't gain it back that fast.  My endless excuses when I know I could have done better. It would be like this throughout 2006 and 2007.

2008 is the year I committed myself once again to losing the pounds. Almost 20 lbs to be exact, yet in May I gain a lot of it back. Granted, I was on a trip home to the Philippines. You can't go wrong with food and family and lots of festivities. So, I'll won't be too hard on myself for that. Vacations can do numbers. In my case I gain most of that I had lost back. Ugh! To my utter disappointment, inside I felt I failed, while the exterior was all smiles hiding my sheer sadness boiling underneath. But as soon as I got back, I was set. And 30+ pounds later...

The new me!

I was determined to keep those pounds off. I keep a printed photo of myself at my heaviest as a reminder of what I used to look like. My motto "Never Again". All in all from my heaviest to what I am now is a difference of 40+ lbs. That's like a large turkey. I'm at the healthy weight range for my height with some lovely curves. My clothes fit better and some even looser. I'm making wiser choices in terms of my health. I still eat my favorite foods, but in moderation. Along with lots of fruits and veggies. I don't calorie count and I love to eat my breads. I've finally learn what it means to have portion control. I workout and try to be more active. For a person like me, who loves to be lazy, I never thought I'd enjoy doing cardio workouts and without the help of the gym. But most importantly I'm happy.

Fast forward to October 2009, a year later. I'm happy to report that I've kept the weight off. I've maintained weight range. An accomplishment I can be proud of.